Nedster's Film and TV Vat

Plunge, why don't you, into the misty, swirling waters of the Vat...


The X-Files

Oh, the X-Files. The X-Files. The X-Files. I'm overcome with love for the X-Files. Here are some links.

The Gossamer Fanfic Archive

The Ultimate X-Files Crossover Archive

Tiny Dancer's X-Files Episode Guide

What else? I think that's all there is to say. Oh, no! I'm wrong! Here are some of my favourite episodes, complete with title, weird number-thing, little descriptive bit, and thing to watch for. Some of them have been chosen simply for one scene that's so good I couldn't fail to include it.

Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space' 3X20 Hilarious. But only for people like me. Bizarre direction
Syzygy 3X13 Two hormone-crazed high-school girls kill everyone they hate. Like Carrie except far, far cooler. The 'Hate him, hate him, wouldn't wanna date him' chant
The Host 2X02 Mutant worm-man kills people. With Darin Morgan in a worm-costume! The freaky bit where the guy's brushing his teeth and spews up a worm
Post Modern Prometheus 5X01 Hilarious. But only for people like me. And filmed entirely in black and white. And with Cher. Mulder and Scully dance at the end!
Blood 2X03 Unexplained freaky thing uses LED screens to take over people's minds. The kooky final scene
Kill Switch 5X01 William Gibson wrote this one. Not very original, though. About a sentient computer. That kills people. Punk Hacker Girl. The look for the millenium!
The Unlikely Suspects 5X01 It's got the Lone Gunmen in it! And they're cool! Byers as a conformist!
Home 4X03 Crazy inbred people with shack full of deathtraps! A recipe for coolness. Vomit-worthy deformations
Sanguinarium 4X06 Satan-worshipping plastic surgeon! Serioulsy icky liposuction scene
Bad Blood 5X01 Hilarious, but only for people like me. And with vampires. Impecccable self-parody
Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man 4X07 Hilarious, but only for people like me. And really touching. And stylishly apocryphal. Cancer Man gets a life!
3 2X07 Lots of vampire serial-killers do scary things Mulder gets laid!
Never Again 4X13 Crazy man gets told to kill by his own tattoo (voiced by Jodie Foster) Scully gets laid!
D.P.O 3X03 Teenager has power to control electricity. And lightning. And stuff. Shocking cow death.
War of the Coprophages 3X12 Mass hysteria about alien robot cockroaches. Bambi...
The Field Where I Died 4X05 Suicide cults and past lives The scene where Mulder walks through the bodies is indescribable
Small Potatoes 4X20 Shape-shifting rapist! With Darin Morgan in a shape shifiting rapist costume! Mulder and Scully nearly kiss!


Hooray! The 'cool episodes' thing for Buffy is finally here! Again with the episode title, a little summary-type-thing and then my favourite bit from the episode.

Welcome To The Hellmouth The very first episode. We meet lots of the people we now know and love for the very first time
The HarvestBuffy gets involved in her first real adventure. "Day-light... isn't for another seven hours, you dolt!" swish swish swish schcrrplt!
The Pack Very funny episode with evil hyena-spirits Xander eats a live pig
I Robot - You JaneFantastic title, and Alyson Hannigan (Willow) gets a chance to shine. Moloch in his robot body smashing his way through a wall
School Hard Best 'feel-good' episode of Buffy, as well as the introduction of Spike, the coolest villain. In anything. Ever. "Get the hell away from my daughter!"
Surprise Buffy and Angel battle the Judge, a big killer smurf-thing. Buffy and Angel get it on, with unpleasant consequences
InnocenceAngel turns evil and Buffy kills the Judge "Cannot be killed with any weapon forged..." Yeah, right.
Passion We see how evil Angelus really is The end... so, so sad...
Becoming pt. 2 Angelus tries to suck the entire world into Hell "You know... uh... 'get the hell away from my daughter!'" and also the climactic swordfight.
Faith, Hope And Trick Faith and Trick arrive in Sunnydale. Faith, we love you!
Homecoming Buffy and Cordelia get hunted through the woods by lots of evil things. Cordelia bluffing it with the remaining Gorch
Lover's Walk Spike is back! Spike si back! "Home... ugh... sweet... home..." thump!
Helpless The Watcher's Council does an evil thing to Buffy The Robert Harris-esque main vampire
Bad Girls Buffy and Faith have fun. Buffy and Faith dancing.
The Freshman Buffy goes to College. Sunday and her gang.
The Harsh Light Of Day Spike comes back to Sunnydale. Spike goes out with the ring.
The Initiative Buffy finds out about the Initiative. The massive underground James Bond-esque secret base.

It's based on the 1992 film, which sucked beyond description, in case you didn't know. Don't get them confused. By the way, I have a signed photo of Sarah Michelle Gellar, by the way! Yes I do! Yes I do! And now for some links.

Buffy UK

The Slayer Fanfic Archive

Domain of the Slain

Sonja Marie's BTVS Links

Dru and Spike's Domain

Shrine To Buffy

The Pyre

Resistance Is Futile!

Yes. Here's a Star Trek section. I made it, and I'm proud. You may despise us. You may revile us. You may outcast us. But one day we will rule the world! Yes! Yes! WE WILL RULE ALL! Bwahahahaha!


The Star Trek Animated GIF Archive

The Borg Recruitment Center

The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition



Edward Scissorhands

My favourite film ever. The word innumerable comes a very small way to describing a tiny fraction of the amount of mediocre films there are. Then there are lots and lots of good films. And lots of great films. But the number of Great films is such that you could brutally cut all someone's fingers off, and then one would still almost be able to count them on one hand.

Edward Scissorhands is one such Great film. It's touching, and funny, and perfectly formed.


The two Batman films are great. (There are technically four Batman films, but the other two such frail imitations that if someone sneezed within four hundred miles of them they'd be ripped into their component atoms). Jack Nicholson rocks in Batman, and Danny DeVito rocks even more in Batman Returns. Everyone in the next two 'films' bites, largely because they're not directed by Tim Burton.

To Die For

The next part of what is rapidly turning into a treatise on the music of Danny Elfman, who, in my opinion, was perfect for the Batman films and Edward Scissorhands, three fantastic gothic fairytales, but was an awful choice for To Die For, which is more of a blackly comedic urban myth. Which is very cool. And hilarious. And has the best credits sequence of any film. Ever. By far.


We Are Your Worst Nightmare

Hellraiser is great. Even if it's basically an incoherent series of images. I regularly use the phrase 'The boundaries between pleasure and pain are easily crossed' in conversation. It disconcerts some, but that's their problem.

Three Times The Terror

The Alien franchise. Yay! I've not seen Aliens, Alien 3, and Alien Ressurection, so it's no longer so pathetic for me to read all the books and have all the merchandise. And Aliens and Alien Resurrection were really amazing, by the way. Borg Xenomorphs! They would rock! Yes! They would! Yes yes yes! And Tribble/Alien hybrids! Ooh baby! That's a thought, actually: now they're making Yoda Furbies, they could make Alien Furbies.


The Game

Bless my soul, what a great film The Game is. I've sent innumerable pretentious things about it to the Internet Movie Database. See it. Now. Now! Don't daudle! Don't read the next bit! Go and see it!


I hope that was enjoyable. The Vat awaits its next victim...